Ayo for NaNoWriMo

Hey everybody, what's up?! Well just so you all know I did make it to 50,000 words on the evening of November 30th sooooo I completed my goal as part of National Novel Writing Month. I have a bunch of new chapters to post so watch out, jerks!

Honk, honk

Hey folks we've got a special thing for you today. I've been getting hundereds of e-mails a day asking me exactly what Mr. Crazy looks like. This was really frustrating because I have no artistic tallent and couldn't convey exactly what he looks like in my imagination. This was a huge stress in my life, causing me to toss and turn as I tried in vain to get some sleep and briefly escape the neverending barrage of inquisitive e-mails. But then, I discovered HeroMachine 2.0! This handy web tool allowed me to craft a stunning image of Mr. Crazy, which I present you here today! Mr. Crazy in full effect, comin' right atcha!

Click for full version
Whoooa, there he is! As a special bonus treat, I made an image that is meant to portray our two main characters...combined into one body! Sound crazy? It is! Check it out:

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Wow, that's really awesome! As if those pictures weren't enough, today for you we've got two new chapters to blow your face off, so read them and get healthy!
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Oh, what a world!

New chapters

Two new chapters!

“Mmm, you know, Toys ‘R’ Us smells really fucking good,” commented Spiderman.

Ha!
Here's the list:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23

I think my cat is depressed

Hey, folks! Well for you today we've got for you a new chapter in my book which you can call "Chapter 21" if you like. It's really great it's got lots of laughs and just a few tears and I hope it makes you feel weird! Excerpt:

“Hey, Wolverine…buddy…dude… it’ll be alright. I mean, now that we know his tricks, we stand a pretty good chance of holding our own against him. And if my calculations are correct, these mirrored jackets I made will reflect those explosive NBA logos right back at his fat face,” giggled Spiderman, tapping on his mirrored jacket.

Hey I don't know about you but I think that's pretty darn lol! Link:
Chapter 21
Oh ya P.S. I really don't want to proofread this chapter right now because it's just over 3,000 words...soooo if you get to it before I polish it up, please forgive the occasional missing word or whatever the fuck I messed up! PEACE

Think fast!

Hey folks, what's up? Well, today we've got a couple new chapters for ya, bringing James and the Giant Cock a couple inches closer to completion. Here's a little taste of what's in store for those brave enough to learn how to read:

“Yes, that’s the one. Well anyway, I was in New York City, and I had just spent about an hour on top of the south tower of the World Trade Center. This of course, was before the terrorist attacks. It was my first time in The Big Apple, and for just a bit, I was able to forget about my troubles as I stared out over the landscape of buildings and roads and also Central Park.”
“It’s a perspective on the world that I know quite a lot about,” winked Spiderman.

Ch-ch-ch-ch ch-ch ch-ch-ch-ch-ch ch-ch-ch ch-ch-check it out!
Chapter 19
Chapter 20

Allo?

Folks, I don't know how I did it, but for you today we've got three new chaptaz for all the gangsta jerkz out there! Yo, check out this:

“Oh, nevermind,” groaned Spiderman, “The point is, the time has come…the time has come for you to find the Holy Grail.”
“The Holy what?” axed Wolverine.
“The Holy Grail!” replied Spiderman.

That's hot.
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18

RIP ODB LOL

Sleep!

Hey folks got a couple new chapters ready to read, so please do!

”Oh, snap!” shouted Wolverine, who began to crack up. But then he noticed a rapidly approaching zombie so he used his claws to chop it up a bunch.

Yo Shaq, hit 'em with the list:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Fuck you!

Cold fuck!

Yo, folks! I'm back with a very short, but very powerful new chapter! After I wrote it, I kind of realized that there's a slight rip-off of somebody else's gag. If you catch it, good for you, if not...well then I've got a bridge I'd like to sell you. Enjoy!
Chapter 13

Aw hell nah

Hey guys! Fresh off the assembly line, we've got a hot new chapter from James and the Giant Cock. And hoo-booy, I'll tell ya what, this one's a doozy!

“Door: open.” Spiderman’s wish was the door’s command; it opened up with that sound that the doors on Star Trek make.

Whoa, that's great stuff!
Chapter 12

Dude...

Hey everybody we've got some new drama for ya'll...read it?

“You sick freak!” moaned Jerry Seinfeld, “Eating an animal? That’s just wrong. Somebody shoot this guy into space with the rest of the dead astronauts.”

Hey, I don't know about you but I think that's pretty funny!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11

Whazzzzzuuuuuuuup

Okay, dudes, one more chapter for a one-more-chapter kinda world! Excerpt:

Ooh that’s a good one, I’ll have to write that down.

Sound crazy? It is! Link:
Chapter 9

Yo check this out

Hey, hey, hey! What's up, folks? Well today for you we've got a couple new chapters, fresh outta my keyboard! They're pretty cool, so read 'em! Now usually I don't do this, but uh, go ahead and break 'em off a little previews of the remix:

“Wow! Whatta story!” said Spiderman. “Hey, you know how Garth Brooks is pretty fat?”
“Yeah…”
“They should call him Girth Brooks.”

Oh my God...that's really funny!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8

Oh.....yeah.

Hey, folks, you guessed it! More James and the Giant Cock, comin' right atcha! Read it up and eat it up, cause it's got zero calories and it tastes like strawberries!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6

New shit!

Allright folks, things are heating up in James and the Giant Cocksville! New drama abounds as Spiderman and Wolverine poke around Nordstrom! Check it out:

“Um, excuse me! Sirs, sirs!” shouted a nearby female Nordstrom employee, “I’m afraid you two can’t go in there, this area is for women only.”
“Listen, bitch,” barked Wolverine in a perturbed manner, “We’re already here and we’re not going to walk all the way over to the men’s section to try on a pair of women’s jeans. Got it, bub?”

Pretty coooooool, huh? Okay, sooooo...read up, jerks!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Hello, friends!

Welcome to my book! My book is called James and the Giant Cock (tentative title) and so far it's totally slammin'! I am writing this book as part of National Novel Writing Month.
If all goes as planned, this will actually turn into a big-ass story. If I actually finish this book it will easily be the most pointless thing I've ever done. I don't know maybe I will get a free hat. Here's what I've written so far:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Soooo happy reading and get off my case!